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Monday, June 26, 2017

How to take a good nude

If you are a heterosexual male who says “No homo, bro,” after bestowing your friend with some love, I prohibit you from reading further;...

Baby on plane actually crying about her carbon footprint

Ever been on a plane and had a baby cry nonstop the entire flight? Well, those cries may have the intention of bringing you...

Snowmageddon: A Vancouverite’s guide to dealing with snow

The recent dumping of snow over our city has left Vancouverites feeling defenseless, hopeless, and just plain useless at times. We’re talking about people...

Hot new slang to use in 2017

Lemon-sucking fuck-face: Bae is a lazy acronym for lazy lovers who blow their load before you can even start thinking about having an orgasm....

Best Hanukkah traditions I just made up

Wintertime in North America is a fun time for goys, as you deck your halls and also everything else to the point where there...

How to be an SFU gold digger

Post-secondary academics suck your wallet dry and flood your calendar with to-dos. But if you can make some time in your busy life to...

Who’s your SFSS sweetheart?

It’s that time of year again! What time of year you ask? Christmas? No way, you silly son of a pancake-headed fuck. It’s mid...

Political parties as vibrators

Democrats You weren't really sure about this one. The packaging was nice and celebrities keep endorsing it, yet you've heard so many questionable things about...

An Ode To TransLink

TransLink You suck Angry bus drivers Get fucked I understand your job is arduous and hard But you are not Columbus, Magellan, Picard Why can’t the bus come on time? Why does a...

SFU Contagion

The following are excerpts from one fearless investigative journalist, who risked their personal well-being to bring the truth to public attention. Their research began...