3 C
Burnaby
Saturday, December 16, 2017

New and improved appreciation days!

By: Kathy Mak We used to only celebrate all the standard holidays – Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s, etc. But now, we get national appreciation days for...

Dementors come to SFU only to find that all the souls are already gone

By: Meghan Light SFU received an unexpected visit this week when Dementors infiltrated campus. Unfortunately, the Dementors were disappointed because they could not find what...

Formal email translation

By: Nathaniel Tok   Original: Dear Professor, I am writing to inform you about a potential problem that I am having with the students you assigned to be...

Promises I’ve broken with my younger self

By: Kathy Mak Remember when you were a little monster running around the playground? Remember making a pinky promise with your close friends and, occasionally,...

What boys do in the washroom instead of washing their hands

Men’s washrooms are more poisonous than the Sauder School snakes at UBC. You’d think that would make guys more likely to wash their hands...

SFU students report mysterious yellow orb floating in the sky on Burnaby campus

By: Aaron Richardson Students at the SFU Burnaby campus have been reporting sightings of a large yellow orb floating in the sky. Many have reported...

The dildo-industrial complex

By: Chinua Pires  We all remember January 17, 1961, the day when Dwight D. Eisenhower warned us of the ever growing presence of the little-talked-about...

SFU researchers discover that literal toxic masculinity exists

By: Gene Cole SFU chemists and sociobiologists have found out that there may be EVEN more harm connected to intense forms of masculinity than just...

Secret study spots for when all the other ones are taken!

Have you ever taken unreliable transit to campus on a day you didn’t have classes in hopes of having a productive study session —...

The Legend of the Harvest Moon

By: Gabrielle McLaren As all nights are under the harvest moon’s light, this one was cold. As little Susie Anne walked home, her breath materialized...